Why women get afraid to work with me and why it’s not really about me anyway

I know that many women are afraid to work with me, and here's why:

It's because I want you to drop your mask.

I want you to go within, get to know yourself, and come out stronger, and that's terrifying for a lot of women.

I don't want to meet your mask.

I don't want to support you in your hiding, your shrinking, your playing small - and that's terrifying.

I see behind your mask, invite you to drop your guard and just, be.

Kind of radical?

I wish it wasn't so, and I wish it wasn't so scary.

We live in a world that encourages the mask, encourages you to always try to fit in, to follow the crowd and do your best to keep it all together and not lose your sh*t, especially at the office.

In many ways, you need a mask to survive as it helps you in so many ways. It protects you from vulnerability all the time.

I'm not a hater of the mask, in fact I have a lot of respect for it and all that it tries to do for you, you just want to make sure that behind the mask everything is ok.

Think of it like this: You have a very good looking Porche, you just want to look under the hood and make sure everything is running smoothly and maintain that engine to run smoothly.

I don't want to take your Porche (the mask) away from you, I just want to tend to, support and strengthen the engine (your inner world).

Because your mask may be strong, but I deeply care if you're crying on the inside or having to hide so many overwhelming thoughts, questions about yourself, your relationships and life, or if you feel lost and don't know where to go.

You may have a stunning Porche, but you still need to lead it in the direction you want to travel to.

If you're crying in your Porche in your driveway, thats no good, beloved!

And you're definitely a Porche, not a 1973 old Ford coughing along. I know you're smart, I know you're established and I know you show up to many difficult moments in your study, your work and your relationships with guts.

I also know many parts of your life are absolutely thriving and you should be proud of yourself because you created that.

You probably know where you are heading in life, have gorgeous best friends, a loving family and hobbies you froth on.

And when you're in this place, you're strong enough to tend to the smaller parts of you that need some support.

I want you to know that nothing is more satisfying that facing yourself and coming out stronger, braver and more solid in your self-assurance.

When you've faced the ghost, found your magic and built your resilience skills, you literally feel like a super hero, and I want that for you.

A HUGE part of this journey, is to drop your guard just enough to say to yourself 'Hey, this isn't feeling good inside, this is hard, I'm run down and burnt out from fighting this inner fight.'

It's ok that you're feeling anxious, or depressed, or lonely or freaking the fk out at times.

It's ok that you cry at night sometimes.

It's ok that you work really hard to pull it together at work or at the dinner table with your family (or your in-laws).

Its ok that at times you feel lost in a world where you can't seem to find your tribe, people who really get you and will show up for you.

It's ok if you have very valid questions or concerns about your relationships.

I just don't want you to keep ignoring those symptoms, those questions and those hard moments and doing it alone, when support is here for you.

I don't want you to be dying on the inside and hiding it.

So my message for you today is:

I want you to stop putting so much pressure on yourself to be happy and perfect ALL THE TIME in ALL AREAS OF YOUR LIFE.

It's impossible, and so that makes it an insane expectation for you to set for yourself.

There is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.

There is nothing wrong with you that you struggle on the hard days.

There is nothing wrong with you that you feel like something is missing or this 'can't be it?!?'

So today, rest your perfectionism, and instead, pick up self-compassion and support.

I'm inviting you to start 1:1 counselling  with me or to enrol in my signature self-support course:  Journey to Self-Peace so that you build skills, resources and ways of approaching your challenges and life with more confidence, more resilience and more assurance.

I'm inviting you to have a wise, steadfast guide to help you face your challenges safely, and to encourage you to be courageous and authentic.

Because the longer you keep thinking that facing your thoughts, questions and feelings is too scary, the longer you prolong your pain.

It's not going away if you ignore it ether: it just keeps niggling at you in the form of anxiety, weird physical symptoms, insomnia, sadness, outbursts, pushing people away or desperately depending on them and unhealthy coping habits (like that online shopping dopamine hit).

I've helped hundreds of women build their skills, self-compassion and self-love to take good care of the parts of them that are a little shaky and a little wobbly. You can read their stories and  testimonials here. 

Remember, you're a total Porche, but do you need a little tune up so that you can find your self-confidence and internal freedom again?

We want that mental space to feel de-cluttered and full of clarity, while your emotional world is tended to, soothed and you can let go, finally.

I've got you.

Get in touch with me and let me know you're ready for some support and I'll answer any questions you have and talk you through what is the best option for you.

Warmest,

Gabriella