How to soothe your inner child

Recently I wrote to you about why women feel scared to work with me, when really it's about feeling scared to face yourself.

I know it's hard to do and it's so much easier to *la la la* about your challenges.

So I want to offer you more support by sharing one powerful reframe that facing your Inner world and all of your thoughts and emotions is scary.

Your Inner World is not scary. It may be having a tantrum, drowning in emotions and overwhelmed with thoughts that seem to have no end.

Right now, you may be frustrated, annoyed and just want to yell back at yourself, "For the love of Beyonce, shut the h*ell up!"

Or as my Dad would say "Jesus! Give me five minutes of peace!"

You just want to get through the day without sorting through your thoughts and emotions baggage, being sensitive and picking up 100 different things that no-one else can pick up and be able to do the hard things without having to spend two hours navigating a panic attack right before it.

I get it: I've been sensitive AF since the day I was born and every day my Inner World wants to have long lengthy conversations with my about life while sitting under a cabana umbrella and pondering the meaning of my existential dread while smoking a cigar and having no place to be. But I don't have time for that every damn day! I want to scream "Why do you have to be so difficult, every damn day?!"

Are you with me?

But here's the thing, the way we RESPOND to our inner World is key to your healing and inner freedom.

The problem is not that you have thoughts, feelings or questions about yourself, your relationships or your life: It's how you're responding to them that is going to either exacerbate them or soothe them.

And we all know we want to soothe them so we can have a great day.

So here's the exercise, think of your Inner World as your Inner Child.

Then imagine screaming these things back at your sweet little Inner Child:

• "For the love of Beyonce, shut the h*ell up!"

• "Jesus! Give my five minutes of peace!"

• "Why do you have to be do difficult, every damn day?!"

I mean, would you EVER scream that at a child?

No, so don't scream it at your own Inner Child.

If you're like any busy woman, you probably scream these things at yourself, often, and you don't need to feel bad about it.

Here's what to do instead:

Consider, what does any Inner Child want when she's screaming, crying and throwing sh*t everywhere?

She wants to be heard, listened to and nurtured.

She wants to be allowed to be herself.

She wants to have adventures and slow down and be curious and have fun wherever she is going, paying no attention to a routine or schedule.

And when she doesn't get what she wants, she has a melt-down.

Your Inner Child, or your Little You, wants 'Big You' to take the time to go back, and sit down with her and ask her...

'Hi, what do you want?'

'What do you need?'

'What are you trying to tell me?'

'What are you scared of right now?'

'And what are you clinging on to there?'

Have you ever seen a small child cling to a toy, or a game or a piece of clothing or a fly they've rescued from the pool and will scream bloody murder if you try to take it away from them? For what ever reason. they've decided that is what they need to feel good right now and THAT is the most important thing to them.

That reminds me of my sister who insisted on wearing a bright yellow life-saving cap she stole off my brother who was doing nippers for WEEKS! Everyone was mortified but she loved her little yellow hat...everywhere, everyday!

Or if Mum threatened to declutter my room full of what I considered memorable, sentimental things, I would have a TOTAL meltdown.

And adults cling to things too, they're just different: We cling to:

• Online shopping, again *fullcart

• Getting attention from online apps (download, delete, repeat)

• Having fancy things so we think it's all worth it

• A few extra glasses of wine even though you know you won't sleep well

• External sources of recognition that we are 'enough' but actually are driving us to burnout and clinical people-pleasing *yesboss

• Showing the highlight reel of our life on social media

• Getting busy and productive and buried in work until 9pm every night...

Instead of clinging to something that isn't actually helping, how about you invite that beautiful Inner Child of yours to cling to the wise, more mature, present adult you? Invite her to cling to 'Big You.'

You don't have to be scared of her and her tantrums or meltdowns which are showing up in your adult life as anxiety, health issues, stomach knots, crying in the bathroom, sitting in your driveway zoned-out and not wanting to get into your own house...

Take her hand and she will melt into you.

Sit on the floor with her and see what's going on.

She is a beautiful, sweet, loving, wanting, dreaming, curious, adventurous being that wants to thrive.

She has questions, yes.

She has big feelings, yes.

She has questions you don't always know how to answer, yes.

What can be scary, is her tantrums, her scary thoughts and her emotions that she has no skills to process or contain.

But underneath all that is sweet magic, and I want you to know your inner magic.

And we can do all of that, together.

You see, this may feel like it takes a long time to do.

You may be thinking, 'I don't have time to do all that shit!'

I promise you, its more efficient and then the overwhelming thoughts or emotions will be soothed and dissipate.

In my 1:1 counselling and my signature self- soothing course Journey to Self-Peace, I'll guide you masterfully to soothe your Inner World and your Inner Child, to find that calm, reprieve you're craving.

By approaching it this way (rather than just wishing her away), you'll build your skills and confidence to tend to your inner world, efficiently and effectively.

So put the credit card down on the online shopping, the extra bottle of wine and the fancy 'things' that make you feel good on the outside and invest in soothing the root cause of what you're finding distressing, not soothing the tantrum by throwing 'toys' at the screaming child.

Let's meet her.

Remember, the worries you have about working with me are really worries about facing yourself and there's nothing to worry about.

Yes, you will step outside your comfort zone, but you will feel alive and energised and relieved and have so much more clarity.

I'm not here to make you worried, I'm here to guide you to getting to know yourself, with my steadfast presence, curiosity, wisdom and skills.

Reach out to me to talk about 1:1 counselling or if Journey to Self-Peace is the perfect offer for you right now.l

Message me and let's chat about what is the best next step for you.

Tell me what you're struggling with, what you're craving and I'll point you in the right direction.

Speak soon,

Gabriella

Ps. If you'd like to read my client's stories and testimonials, they are right here in abundance.