Sharing my story as a sensitive AF woman in a busy modern world

Recently I shared with you my shift towards owning my own sensitivities and that I love to support sensitive women in my work, so I thought I'd be brave and go first in sharing my story, in the hopes that you will be able to see yourself in it too.

People generally tend to think I'm a hard working, go-getting business woman who confidently shows up online, and that's true.

But behind the scenes, I'm a sensitive little soul that's worked hard to hold my self gently and bravely in a world that feels busy, loud, chaotic and harsh to me.

It has been quite a journey for me to learn to embrace, accept and love who I am, and all that comes with being a deep thinker and feeler, especially as it hasn't always been valued, encouraged or embraced.

Even writing this email is nerve-wracking, as are all my emails.

But here I am: Hi I'm Gabriella and I have been a sensitive, emotional and curious AF woman all of my life!

As a child, I would cry for no reason and all of our baby-sitters had to be 'prepared' for this. I still cry at the drop of a hat, both for sad and sweet things.

If I was a fruit- I'd definitely be a watermelon 😂

I loved making cubby houses I could hide in, or swim for hours in our backyard pool while alone with my own deep thoughts.

I had two older brothers who were obsessed with WWE, football and surfing and all I wanted to do was journal, practice my under water swimming routines in peace, scrapbook and find quiet in the home.

Oh, and I was OBSESSED with saving money for my African World Vision sponsor child "Pretty Punduma" so I would do chores around the house to save up money and put it into the little card box box.

I'd ask random questions like "Why do we say A-men at the end of a prayer instead of A-woman?" 😂

Not much has changed at all as an adult (#hellomid30s),

I spend many years working in Africa in women's health and development, and I can spend days at a time entertaining myself in my own little world, journalling, drawing and pondering life's questions.

I still need a lot of quiet time to calm me and process a very busy mind.

I care deeply for my loved ones and find myself giving, a lot. I always try to treat others how I want to be treated but that often leads to me OVER caring or OVER giving to people, because I like to be treated gently too.

If they're having a hard time, I find it difficult to leave them to sort it out themselves and always feel like I should be there for them. It can lead me to giving too much, so I'm working on tightening up those boundaries.

I still have endless questions about life, relationships and myself and I often feel confused how other people's minds or experiences just seem so 'simple'.

I often ask myself:

✍🏽 How do they just take things at face value?

✍🏽 How do they forget things so quickly?

✍🏽 How do they forgive so quickly?

✍🏽 How do the not see, sense, feel or instinctively pick up what I can?

✍🏽 Where did I come from and why isn't all of my family just like me?

My Mum describes me as having 1000 antennae that picks up information no-one else does. I have what you would call 'spidey senses.'

Often, I won't like someone at all when everyone else likes them. I have such a hard time being around them, and then years later it comes out that they were a liar, scammer or a bad person, and everyone was fooled.

At times, it felt like others couldn't hold space for me, understand why simple things seemed complicated to me, or were uncomfortable with my displays of emotions, so they would shut down or tell me to 'stop it.'

It hasn't always been easy being this way. It seems like there are SO many thoughts and feelings to navigate.

I invested a lot in my 20s and now 30s in excellent therapists, and often seek guidance from philosophy, astrology and the esoteric world to help me make sense of things. I have always had to turn towards my sensitivity as I wear my heart on my sleeve and have never been able to compartmentalise or shut my emotions down, so I've had to face them.

You could say that being me is hard work! I've probably had two existential crises and written ten pages in my journey before my morning coffee 😂

These days, I have come to know that my sensitivity makes me interesting, complex and endlessly curious, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

I'm not a weepy, fragile woman who doesn't cope with life. I'm proud of my resilience, the audacity, courage and pure grit I have, despite being incredibly sensitive. I have pretty unparalleled tenacity and I haven't lived a small life. I still took this sensitive ass off to the back ends of Africa, started a business in covid and have shucked a lot of traditional pathways and blueprints that are expected of women.

I feel grateful for my sensitivity and yet I feel incredibly strong. I have so much confidence in how I can support myself, even though I'm always at risk of crying all over the floor.

I've learnt how to master my unique talents as my superpowers, without ignoring my thoughts and feelings, hiding my personality or turning away from myself, and I am so proud of that.

I've done this through a few key tools that I always come back to:

• Journalling that helps me express and understand myself.

• Meditation to help me get out of my mind and calm my nervous system.

• Finding like-minded friends who I can be 100% myself with.

• Developing incredible emotional and mental regulation strategies with my own therapists, coaches and mentors.

• Creating my own routine and lifestyle that supports and soothes my sensitivities.

• Leaving international development work behind and retraining as a counsellor so my sensitivities are used every day as my sacred gift.

• Backing myself, rather than hating or abandoning myself.

• Radical acceptance: I have accepted I can't be anyone else, and for many years I tired. So I may as well embrace and love all that I am and make it my superpower.

I decided that can't hide myself anyway or be like everyone else, so I'm not going to spend my whole life trying to be someone I am not.

When I am feeling particularly brave, I remember that I'm meant to be here, just like this, just as I am.

These days, I'm a heart-centred therapist and online coach who uses my sensitivity perceptiveness, emotional intelligence and endless curiosity to be deeply connected to my clients.

You could say I've literally made a career out of being sensitive.

I ask questions like "I noticed your breath shortened as I said that, could we pause here and explore that?"

Sometimes I can feel a new client's energy or depression just through their email enquiry.

Even though I listen to difficult life stories all day, hold space emotionally for my client's hour after hour, and I'm often helping women navigate difficult challenges with no clear solution, it doesn't overwhelm me.

Why? Because I work in the pocket of my unique magic.

I operate in the seat of my purpose.

When I commit to supporting my sensitivities, rather than spending my whole life pretending I'm not, life gets easier and calmer.

Now, a catching the train into the city in peak out traffic and working in a busy open-plan office with bright over-head lights and 30 phones ringing at any time- I would completely fall apart.

I don't work in the mornings, so that I can be with myself, write, create and get centred before my workday begins.

I write and meditate regularly: I have nearly 50 full leather journals about my inner world, that I have written in while travelling and living in so many countries.

Journalling has been a constant companion that has helped me be me, and find my equilibrium, so many times.

It's helped me express all of my thoughts, feelings and questions, especially when there was no one to talk to or who could understand me.

It's my greatest joy to pass on the tools and wisdom that have helped me, hundreds of my clients in my busy private practice, now to you.

I'd love to know, can you relate to any of my story?

Gabriella

Captain Sensitive

Psst... Don't forget to join The Secret Society for Sensationally Sensitive women- an online monthly meeting where we explore our journeys as sensitive women, share our experiences, journal and meditate together with prompts and meditations I've created just to support sensitive women to thrive and embrace themselves. Join the membership  here .