The magic and madness of being sensitive and why you might avoid the label

Recently I wrote to update you on my reclaiming of the word sensitivity and where my head has been at for the past few months.

Today I wanted to turn the lens on you and see where you were at with the change, because I know that being sensitive has many benefits, but it can also feel like a burden at times.

Being sensitive has made me a perceptive, intuitive therapist that never flinches when a client is having an emotional breakdown in front of me; something that would have many other people running for the hills.

I also spent the whole weekend umming and ahhing over whether I should clear the cobwebs from the front of my house because I felt bad for the spiders and the potential of having their hand-made homes violently swept up by a broom.

That's the hard part!

Sometimes small decisions seem enormous.

Speaking up for yourself feels like moving mountains.

Trying to come to a conclusion about how you feel about something is an Olympic marathon where you don't know how many laps of the arena you'll need to do before you cross the finish line, exhausted.

Sometimes it feels like your mind is in a spaghetti loop with no end.

You have to paddle like hell on a surfboard just to stay afloat in the emotional waters brewing beneath you (surfing is exhausting FYI!)

Often all the thoughts, deep emotions, reflections and questions you have about yourself and others can drive you mad!

That's why I say being sensitive is beautiful but there's also a mental madness to it.

It's not that you're crazy, it's just it can be so overwhelming and maddening at times.

You might even be mad that you are sensitive in the first place!

Can you relate?

How do I know if I really am sensitive or not?

You may be wondering, am I included in this or is all of Gabriella's work going to alienate me and not be relevant to me anymore?

You may have never considered yourself a sensitive woman.

When I’m talking about sensitivity, I don’t have a ten-point checklist I want you to pass. You don’t have to meet the criteria for being a Highly Sensitive person (HSP) or an empath or an Indigo Child or any other label.

However, if this feels like it's finally giving you clarity around who you are that has long been misunderstood, you may like to check out  21 signs you're highly sensitive here. ​

You’re probably here in the right place because you were intuitively drawn to me and you already enjoy what I talk about online, which is all relevant to being a sensitive woman.

Forget the label for a moment.

I’m really just talking to women who:

• Tend to be more gentle, thoughtful, perceptive, in-tune, deep thinking, feeling and curious about the world.

• Have a hunch you’re more sensitive than others, and you've probably been told that once or twice too.

• Are full of ideas, creative interests and love helping people.

• Wish the world was a kinder, gentler place and would slow down a little.

• Care deeply for animals, the environment and marginalised people.

• Keep your family and workmates together and are a soft place to land for so many people.

• Give a lot to others, and often put your own well-being last.

• Find empathy, compassion and giving incredibly easy, but boundaries, resolutions and decisions incredibly hard.

• Get lost in thought, ask others for advice a lot and can see an issue from all sides so well.

Can you see yourself in this?

You might have considered yourself as an irritable, perfectionistic, people-pleasing, anxious, overwhelmed or easily overstimulated person.

Perhaps they're just symptoms, or outcomes and sensitivity are at the heart of it all?

Is sensitivity a dirty word?

If you have some resistance to being called sensitive - I get it.

Sensitivity isn’t a dirty word although it gets used as one, often thrown back in your face and it can lead you to want to hide from the label.

When you hear someone say 'you're sensitive’ you will always have the possibility of hearing it as a negative thing.

It can be closely associated with being ‘dramatic’ or ‘too much’ or ‘over the top’ or ‘difficult’ or ‘hard work’.

Ask yourself, when someone calls you sensitive, what’s your reaction?

Even as I write this, I can feel my heckles getting up!

I don't see it as an insult though. I think it's just less emotional people having a hard time understanding and valuing us.

The invitation: Sensitivity is a gift, not a burden

I’m here to guide you to consider your sensitivity as a tool or gift, not as some uncontrollable monster that lives inside you that makes you an ‘out of control’, projecting, emotionally all over-the-place woman.

I’m inviting you to relate to your sensitivity as a valuable tool for self-connection, emotional intelligence, self-reflection and curiosity, both about yourself and the world.

I'm inviting you to become interested in turning towards sensitivity, rather than ignoring it, pushing it down or pretending like you’re not sensitive AF.

I'm inviting you to stop hiding it from yourself and from others, but re-arrive at a place within yourself that acknowledges, embraces and supports your sensitivity.

If you turn away from sensitivity, it can lead to living only in the mind and ignoring your felt sense, intuition and body responses which hold so much wisdom and frankly, are way more accurate than your monkey mind.

If you turn away from sensitivity, you are rejecting or hiding yourself.

If you turn away from sensitivity, you can't support yourself through the mental mud, the emotional waves or the thought loops.

If you turn away from sensitivity, you will never truly know how valuable, gifted and important you are to yourself, your loved ones and your community.

...and that's a way of living I just can't stand behind.

I'm going to slash and burn the jungle in front of us all as sensitive women, take the lead and create a path forward.

I'm going to raise a pink flag and say 'Hey team, let's go this way.'

I'm hoping you'll stay close by and start your own journey with me.

Let me know: am I out here standing on a limb all by myself or can you relate to being a sensitive woman too?

I can't wait to hear from you.

Gabriella

Captain Sensitive

Psst... Don't forget to join The Secret Society for Sensationally Sensitive women- an online monthly meeting where we explore our journeys as sensitive women, share our experiences, journal and meditate together with prompts and meditations I've created just to support sensitive women to thrive and embrace themselves. Join the membership  here .