Exploring Mental Filtering- Unhelpful Thinking Style
As a specialist for busy-minded women with deep emotions and sensitive souls, I know that so many of you struggle with overwhelming thoughts.
That's why, in my upcoming Muse-letters and this Sunday's Masterclass I'm going to dive into the fascinating world of understanding your Unhelpful Thinking Styles.
Unhelpful thinking styles can distort your perception of reality, leading to negative emotions and difficult emotions. If you’re a busy-minded woman, you may be more prone to these styles, but help is on the way!
Let's get to know these Unhelpful Thinking Styles, how they affect your perception, and most importantly, how you can gently guide your mind towards a more balanced view of yourself and your experiences.
Also- Don't forget to join my online Masterclass this Sunday on 'HOW TO NOT THINK'...Details are at the bottom of this email.
Today's focus is "Unhelpful Thinking Style: Mental Filtering."
Have you ever noticed how sometimes our minds tend to zoom in on the negative aspects of a situation, filtering out all the positive?
It's like wearing glasses that only show us the flaws and overlook the beauty of people, situations and experiences.
Mental Filtering is a common unhelpful thinking style where your mind focuses solely on one negative detail, ignoring the positive aspects of a situation or the whole event of the big picture.
Your thinking style deduces a whole experience into one little detail, usually a negative one, causing upset. You can ruminate or obsess over this one thought, over and over again.
But fear not, dear one, we'll explore this common cognitive distortion with warmth and understanding and I am here to help you through.
Examples of mental Filtering
“I completely ruined that presentation when I fumbled the question at the end”
“My event was completely ruined because she didn’t turn up.”
“I feel unlovable because I’m socially awkward in big crowds.”
You see?
These styles are hyper-focused on one aspect, and forgetting that you probably nailed the rest of the presentation, the rest of the event was a huge success, and maybe you are socially awkward but that's only one tiny part of you, you are so loveable.
Try These Strategies Instead
If your mind locks into this thinking style, try the alternative strategies instead. You're going to counteract mental filtering by consciously considering the entire situation and reframing this unhelpful thinking style with the following approaches.
Name thoughts as the Thinking Style
The first step is to recognize that mental filtering is naming it as one particular style of thinking, not the entire reality or not all parts of your mind. Acknowledge that filtering out positive aspects can distort your perception of the situation.
Note to yourself “I’m noticing the ’Mental Filter’ thinking style showing up here.”
The more aware of this unhelpful thinking style you can be, the more you can intervene in it.
Consider the whole picture
Ask yourself these big-picture questions:
Am I taking all the information into account?
What would someone else remember about this event/experience that I may be filtering out?
What else is going on that I'm ignoring?
How might focusing only on the negative aspect distort my view?
Reframe with Positive Affirmations
Use positive affirmations to remind yourself of the positive aspects of a situation and challenge the negative filter.
Allow yourself to make mistakes or have bad moments, but don’t let it ruin the whole picture.
Release shame for your shortcomings and allow space for self-praise and pride.
Practice Gratitude
Practising gratitude can help broaden your perspective and shift focus from negativity to positivity or at least neutrality.
Go back to the issue or the event that your mind is Mentally Filtering and gather more details about what went well.
What is the fear and function of it?
I believe this unhelpful thinking style has a FEAR and a FUNCTION that is at the root. Ask yourself:
How might this unhelpful thinking style be trying to protect me from bigger fears or worries?
What purpose or function does this unhelpful thinking style serve?
Why won’t I allow myself to feel or notice the good stuff too?
What purpose does it serve to filter my memories?
Accessing Support
Keep this resource.
If this email was helpful- Download this pretty PDF quick guide to keep on your phone, or print it out for your office or fridge.
<< Mental Filtering Quick Guide PDF >>
Counselling
If this and other unhelpful thinking styles have become a problem for you, I'd absolutely love to support you as your personal therapist through bespoke 1:1 heart-centred counselling.
Want to learn more about Unhelpful Thinking Styles?
Join us for a special Women's Cave Master Class where we'll dive deeper into the 8 different unhelpful thinking styles, explore mindfulness practices to help tame those unruly thoughts and bring your mind to a calmer place.
In this special masterclass, I'll guide you through my favourite and most powerful, yet simple mindfulness and somatic practices I've garnered over my decade of therapy experience and what I see works with clients, day in and day out to reduce your overwhelm and stress.
It won't be an EDUCATIONAL masterclass where you learn a PowerPoint full of information as that won't give you the experience you need.
Rather, I'll explore the Unhelpful Thinking Styles briefly and then dive deep into the soothing practices quickly so you experience the joy of mindfulness and really see how restful your mind and body can be.
Let's journey together towards a more peaceful mind and an open heart.
'How to Not Think' MasterClass: April 14th, 2024.
In-Person (Fremantle) 10 am-12 pm (SOLD OUT)
Online 2:00 pm-3:30 pm AWST (5 tix available)
I can't wait to see you there and calm your beautifully busy mind.
Gabriella
P.S. No shame or self-criticism for how you think is allowed in my world! Just NOTICE and help your mind NAVIGATE to a more helpful place.
More on that in the MasterClass...
